Sunday, January 15, 2006

Life's Goodbyes

EACH DAY IS A LITTLE LIFE;
EVERY WAKING AND RISING A LITTLE BIRTH,
EVERY FRESH MORNING A LITTLE YOUTH,
EVERY GOING TO REST AND SLEEP A LITTLE DEATH.

ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER
GERMAN PHILOSOPHER

There is a rhythm to life. Ups and downs. Highs and lows. Hellos and goodbyes. While we might wish we could suspend time when our lives are going particularly well, life continuously unfolds. Life contantly changes. We are in transition from one moment to the next throughout our lives. Spiritual maturity requires that we accept that life is filled with endings. But how do we learn how to say goodbye?

The death of a loved one. The break up of a marriage or relationship. A grown child leaving the family home. Graduating from school. Changing jobs. Retirement. Everything in life has an end. Our goodbyes mark these endings and transform them from experiences of loss and death to experiences of hope and promise. They change our perspective from one of looking back to looking ahead.

HOW CAN I HELP YOU TO SAY GOODBYE?
(Burton Banks Collins/Karen Good Taylor)

Through the back window of a '59 wagon
I watched my best friend Jamie slippin' further away
I kept on waving 'till I couldn't see her
And through my tears, I asked again why we couldn't stay
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

I sat on our bed, he packed his suitcase
I held a picture of our wedding day
His hands were trembling, we both were crying
He kissed me gently and then he quickly walked away
I called up Mama, she said, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

Sitting with Mama alone in her bedroom
She opened her eyes, and then squeezed my hand
She said, I have to go now, my time here is over
And with her final word, she tried to help me understand
Mama whispered softly, Time will ease your pain
Life's about changing, nothing ever stays the same

And she said, How can I help you to say goodbye?
It's OK to hurt, and it's OK to cry
Come, let me hold you and I will try
How can I help you to say goodbye?

How can I help you to say goodbye?
 
QUESTION:  What has been your hardest goodbye? Who was there for you to help you say your goodbye?


Copyright 2006 Don Neale, Jr.
All rights reserved.

2 comments:

Ruggiero said...

Hardest so far was in 1990. A close friend and coworker of mine was dying of aids complications at a hospice in Houston. He was in his early 40's and I was priveleged to be one of the few people he let visit on a daily basis. He kept his sense of humor to the last, making jokes and his trademark snide remarks. He went to the other side gently in his sleep. His funeral packed the Episcopal cathedral in downtown Houston. Johnny H - what a great guy!

Ruggiero said...

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