[GOD] Gentle, are u there?
[gentle] Is that u?
[GOD] In person!
[gentle] How can I know for sure ur God?
[GOD] Wanna trade pics? On the way!
[GOD] Not what u xpected? I picked a look u could understand. For someone else I would look different. I could do any face, voice, whatever. I could even be a woman!
Go ahead. I mean with the questions that r popping up in ur head.
[gentle] Yeah... Y me?
[GOD] Why not u?
[gentle] u mean there's no special reason?
[GOD] U thought I picked u because ur better than everybody?
[gentle] I'm not?
[GOD] ur better than some, but not as good as others. But ur name came up... Like a pop-up window for being the millionth visitor!
[gentle] If u chose me, y didn't u just appear to me... in person?
[GOD] Hollywood. Drama. Next question.
[gentle] People r always praying to u... Do u listen?
[GOD] I can't help hearing. I don't always listen.
[gentle] Then u don't care?
[GOD] Of course I care. I care plenty. But what can I do?
[gentle] What can you do? ur God!
[GOD] Only for the big picture. I don't get into the details.
[gentle] Then whatever happens to us...
[GOD] Happens.
[gentle] You mean there's no plan, no scheme to guide our destinies?
[GOD] A lot of it is luck.
[gentle] Luck? Just luck? You don't control our lives?
[GOD] I gave u a world and everything in it. It's all up to u.
[gentle] But, we need help!
[GOD] That's y I gave u each other.
[gentle] With ur powers, u could solve so many problems. Y don't u? Work a few miracles!
[GOD] I don't do miracles. Too flashy. And they upset the natural balance.
[gentle] No miracles, huh? That's what ronlawhouston says.
[GOD] Maybe now and then, just to keep my hand in. The last miracle I did was the 2004 Red Sox. B4 that the '69 Mets. B4 that u got to go to the Red Sea. Now that was a beauty!
[gentle] No offense, but I don't believe the Red Sea and I don't believe 6 days to create the world.
[GOD] ur right.
[gentle] I am?
[GOD] Tell u the honest truth I thought about it for 5 days and did the whole job in 1. I'm really best under pressure.
[gentle] 1 day to create the world?
[GOD] And the sun... I hate to work in the dark. Anywho you have to remember that 1 of my days is not exactly 1 of urs.
[gentle] How long are they?
[GOD] When I got up this morning Sigmund Freud was still in medical school.
[gentle] If ur so involved with us, how can u permit all the suffering that goes on in the world?
[GOD] How can I permit the suffering?
[gentle] Yeah!
[GOD] I don't permit the suffering. U do. Free will. All the choices are urs.
[gentle] Choices? What choices?
[GOD] u can love each other, cherish and nurture each other, or u can kill each other. Incidently, "kill" is the word. It's not "waste." If I meant "waste," I would have written, "Thou shalt not waste." ur doing some very funny things with words down here. ur also turning the sky into mud. I look down, I don't believe the filth! Using rivers for toilets, poisoning my fishes. u want a miracle? u make a fish from scratch. u can't. u think only God can make a tree? Try coming up with a mackerel. And when the last one is gone that'll be that. Eighty-six on the fishes. Goodbye, sky. So long, world. Over and out.
[gentle] Umm... I thought u said we would make it?
[GOD] I said, uve got to make it work.
[gentle] u don't care!
[GOD] I do care!
[gentle] Then do something about it!
[GOD] I did. I got u to carry the ball.
[gentle] I got no ball! How can I carry it?
[GOD] I gave you a mouth, didn't I? And a computer. And the internet. Tell people how I feel, what I said.
[gentle] How do I do that?
[GOD] How did u get to be assistant manager? Did u ever hear of google? u urself said ppl r blogging. How about network news? u have a scoop here, an exclusive.
[gentle] Fine. And how do I convince anybody that I have spoken to u? That you exist?
[GOD] Simple. Show them this...
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