When my trust has been betrayed, I am likely to find myself resistant to ever trusting again. This can only result in the rest of life being lived out in fear... which is really not living at all. So how do I get beyond past betrayals so that I can begin to trust again?
One of the points that TV's Dr. Phil often makes is that at any given moment in my life, I do (or have done) what I can (or could) within the limits of my knowledge and experience at the time. It is not my fault if my trust has been betrayed and I have found myself hurt, abused or taken advantage of. Regardless of how devastating the hurt or abuse may have been, there is a sense in which what has happened expands my knowledge and experience and empowers me so I am not as susceptible to abuse or my trust being betrayed in the future.
This means that instead of living in debilitating fear that what happened in the past could happen again, I can instead approach life with some degree of confidence knowing that I am smarter and more aware and that leaves me safer and more secure. I don't need to be afraid of lurking ghosts or the shadows from a dark past because my knowledge and experience will allow me to recognize situations or circumstances where I may find myself vulnerable to being hurt or abused.
Perhaps there is also an underlying sense of shame that my abuse has left me tarnished in some way. This may leave me feeling unworthy of living again, of loving and being loved, of deserving good fortune, success or happiness. The one thing I have in common with all, however, is that we are broken souls, damaged goods. It is simply not possible to walk through life unscathed. Circumstances and experiences abound that leave us bruised and scarred. Yet at the same time I have been redeemed. I have value and purpose that no person or thing can ever take away.
So go forth to live and love. You are not bound or fettered by past experiences of abuse. There is no reason to shroud yourself in fear. Rise up and greet the new dawn!
© Copyright 2006 gentlefootprint. All Rights Reserved.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Your Relationship With GOD
MY RESPONSES (AS I ANSWER) WILL BE IN ITALICS
1. Write down in one or two sentences your own definition, feeling and experience of God.
God is the source, center and summit of all life.
2. Which of the following words fit your conception, feeling and/or experience of God.
Father Mother Friend
Protector Beloved Ruler
Judge Spirit Intelligence
Energy Creator Forgiveness
Love Merciful Punishment
Helper Provider Transcendent
Within Above Presence
Kind Fierce All-knowing
Participant Uninvolved Almighty
3. What role does God play (or not play) in your life?
God is a centering force in my life, the One who keeps me focussed on what really matters in life, who makes it possible for me to experience peace, acceptance, love when I am living in harmony with him
4. If you could ask only three questions of God, what would they be?
I'll just focus on trusting instead of asking questions...
5. If you could have God fulfill three specific wishes or requests, what would they be?
I believe that God empowers us to fulfill our own wishes and dreams (even the noblest amd most unselfish of wishes), but it is always up to us to do the work.
6. To identify the ways in which you most need to make peace with God, answer yes or no to the following questions:
* Do you feel you have turned away from God - or that God has turned away from you? At times, but whenever I have found myself wandering off on my own, I am soon reminded of who and what really does matter...
* Do you ever feel unworthy of receiving God's love? No
* Do you sometimes get angry at God? No, I get angry with myself
* Do you ever doubt God's existence? No, but sometime's I wonder whether G-O-O-D exists
* Do you ever feel afraid of God's wrath? No
* Do you ever wonder why God allows evil and suffering to exist? No, God doesn't allow it... humanity does
* Are your spiritual beliefs in conflict with those of your family or your religious heritage? No
* Do you yearn to experience - or reexperience - God's presence? Always
7. Examine Your Spiritual History.
* How would you characterize the way your parents or step-parents felt about God? Probably a blend of hope, faith and superstition
* What did they teach you, explicitly and implicitly, about spirituality? That always at the center of spirituality is love
* In what ways, if any, was your spirituality affected by other family members, e.g. uncles, aunts, siblings, grandparents? It wasn't
* Was God a source of love and joy? Yes
* Was God used to intimidate or shame you, or make you feel sinful or unworthy? No
* What influence, if any, did specific clergy have on your developing attitudes toward God and religion? All the difference in the world. John Grathwohl became my mentor and led me on a path leading to ordination
* Were religious occasions a pleasant, rich experience, or did you resent having to take part? After my conversion, pleasant and rich
* How has your attitude toward God changed in adulthood? It has evolved from what I needed or hoped God to be to acceptance of who and what God is
* Have you come to question any of your early beliefs? Reject them? Disdain them? No
* What were the turning points in your religious or spiritual development? Conversion, ordination, marriage, children, marriage breakup
© Copyright 2006 gentlefootprint. All Rights Reserved.
1. Write down in one or two sentences your own definition, feeling and experience of God.
God is the source, center and summit of all life.
2. Which of the following words fit your conception, feeling and/or experience of God.
Father Mother Friend
Protector Beloved Ruler
Judge Spirit Intelligence
Energy Creator Forgiveness
Love Merciful Punishment
Helper Provider Transcendent
Within Above Presence
Kind Fierce All-knowing
Participant Uninvolved Almighty
3. What role does God play (or not play) in your life?
God is a centering force in my life, the One who keeps me focussed on what really matters in life, who makes it possible for me to experience peace, acceptance, love when I am living in harmony with him
4. If you could ask only three questions of God, what would they be?
I'll just focus on trusting instead of asking questions...
5. If you could have God fulfill three specific wishes or requests, what would they be?
I believe that God empowers us to fulfill our own wishes and dreams (even the noblest amd most unselfish of wishes), but it is always up to us to do the work.
6. To identify the ways in which you most need to make peace with God, answer yes or no to the following questions:
* Do you feel you have turned away from God - or that God has turned away from you? At times, but whenever I have found myself wandering off on my own, I am soon reminded of who and what really does matter...
* Do you ever feel unworthy of receiving God's love? No
* Do you sometimes get angry at God? No, I get angry with myself
* Do you ever doubt God's existence? No, but sometime's I wonder whether G-O-O-D exists
* Do you ever feel afraid of God's wrath? No
* Do you ever wonder why God allows evil and suffering to exist? No, God doesn't allow it... humanity does
* Are your spiritual beliefs in conflict with those of your family or your religious heritage? No
* Do you yearn to experience - or reexperience - God's presence? Always
7. Examine Your Spiritual History.
* How would you characterize the way your parents or step-parents felt about God? Probably a blend of hope, faith and superstition
* What did they teach you, explicitly and implicitly, about spirituality? That always at the center of spirituality is love
* In what ways, if any, was your spirituality affected by other family members, e.g. uncles, aunts, siblings, grandparents? It wasn't
* Was God a source of love and joy? Yes
* Was God used to intimidate or shame you, or make you feel sinful or unworthy? No
* What influence, if any, did specific clergy have on your developing attitudes toward God and religion? All the difference in the world. John Grathwohl became my mentor and led me on a path leading to ordination
* Were religious occasions a pleasant, rich experience, or did you resent having to take part? After my conversion, pleasant and rich
* How has your attitude toward God changed in adulthood? It has evolved from what I needed or hoped God to be to acceptance of who and what God is
* Have you come to question any of your early beliefs? Reject them? Disdain them? No
* What were the turning points in your religious or spiritual development? Conversion, ordination, marriage, children, marriage breakup
© Copyright 2006 gentlefootprint. All Rights Reserved.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
In Defense Of Marriage & Family - An Editorial
My editorial today is intended more as a spiritual reflection than a political statement. In my view, belief in and faithfulness to God is conscientiously, prayerfully and faithfully living a life in harmony with a seamless array of divinely inspired and ordained values and principles. No political party fully embraces "the things of God" or "the ways of God" and therefore neither are deserving of a vote as the champion of faith. What angers me are those politicians, in this case those in the Republican Party, who openly court as their base a people trying hard to lead faith-filled lives by portraying themselves as their champion... and that "base" blindly and uncritically following these pipers even though the tune they play is wrought with so many contradictions to the very kind of life they are trying faithfully to lead. It is my hope that this editorial stirs people to question these highly suspect, Pharisaic motions and to begin to hold such politicians to higher standards of accountability.
Listening to the news on the radio on the way in to work this morning, I felt heartened that the President and GOP incumbents in the US Senate are focusing on the one issue of major consequence facing the American people today. My marriage has never felt so defended.
Afterall, marriage has been and is under assault. Unless you are born into privilege, it's going to take daddy and mommy each working one or more jobs to meet the financial demands of family. Ever rising gas prices will require finding yet another job in order to put gas in the car for the commute to and from those jobs. But that's okay. All those Americans holding down all those jobs makes for great statistics to run for reelection on - having created all those new jobs and putting America back to work.
And while mommy and daddy are both off to work, thanks to financially strapped school districts and communities inability to provide structured and safe educational and recreational opportunities for youth, the kids have all kinds of time to go home and log onto MySpace to place those personal ads that predators find so enticing. Or maybe they'll take to the street with hats turned and pant legs pegged to the people's left or folk's right for the sense of family that does not exist under their own roof, to the streets where gang-related crime runs rampant because law enforcement too lacks adequate funding so that we can continue to fund all those tax breaks to "keep stimulating the economy."
And if anyone in the family should face serious illness, adequate health care is fast becoming less and less accessible. But have no fear, for our leaders have also rewritten bankruptcy laws in such a way that surely lenders will be more than happy to front you money for which you will spend the remainder of your life in debt trying to repay.
And these reflections don't even begin to look at the kind of America we have and are creating for the least among us (does Matthew 25 matter anyway?).
Excluding gays from the institution of marriage will have a much more profound and lasting influence on strengthening marriage and family than would requiring the love struck from entering into it much more slowly and only after solid preparation. It is much more cost effective to judge or bash homosexuals than it is to give couples real tools to manage the myriad of bumps that make marriage so difficult.
Hats off to Karl Rove. The man's a political genius. He is so adept at knowing how and when to dangle just the right emotionally charged carrot to propel his army to elected posts where they hold the power to pursue whatever their real agenda is. But champion of Marriage and Family? Look again evangelical Christians, and beware.
My question is simple: When will that evangelical conservative base, who is so quick to bite at such political tactics, see through it all and start to hold these people accountable for talking out of both sides of their mouth?
© Copyright 2006 gentlefootprint. All Rights Reserved.
Listening to the news on the radio on the way in to work this morning, I felt heartened that the President and GOP incumbents in the US Senate are focusing on the one issue of major consequence facing the American people today. My marriage has never felt so defended.
Afterall, marriage has been and is under assault. Unless you are born into privilege, it's going to take daddy and mommy each working one or more jobs to meet the financial demands of family. Ever rising gas prices will require finding yet another job in order to put gas in the car for the commute to and from those jobs. But that's okay. All those Americans holding down all those jobs makes for great statistics to run for reelection on - having created all those new jobs and putting America back to work.
And while mommy and daddy are both off to work, thanks to financially strapped school districts and communities inability to provide structured and safe educational and recreational opportunities for youth, the kids have all kinds of time to go home and log onto MySpace to place those personal ads that predators find so enticing. Or maybe they'll take to the street with hats turned and pant legs pegged to the people's left or folk's right for the sense of family that does not exist under their own roof, to the streets where gang-related crime runs rampant because law enforcement too lacks adequate funding so that we can continue to fund all those tax breaks to "keep stimulating the economy."
And if anyone in the family should face serious illness, adequate health care is fast becoming less and less accessible. But have no fear, for our leaders have also rewritten bankruptcy laws in such a way that surely lenders will be more than happy to front you money for which you will spend the remainder of your life in debt trying to repay.
And these reflections don't even begin to look at the kind of America we have and are creating for the least among us (does Matthew 25 matter anyway?).
Excluding gays from the institution of marriage will have a much more profound and lasting influence on strengthening marriage and family than would requiring the love struck from entering into it much more slowly and only after solid preparation. It is much more cost effective to judge or bash homosexuals than it is to give couples real tools to manage the myriad of bumps that make marriage so difficult.
Hats off to Karl Rove. The man's a political genius. He is so adept at knowing how and when to dangle just the right emotionally charged carrot to propel his army to elected posts where they hold the power to pursue whatever their real agenda is. But champion of Marriage and Family? Look again evangelical Christians, and beware.
My question is simple: When will that evangelical conservative base, who is so quick to bite at such political tactics, see through it all and start to hold these people accountable for talking out of both sides of their mouth?
© Copyright 2006 gentlefootprint. All Rights Reserved.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Pentecost Sunday
Pentecost Sunday. God sharing the animating gift of his spirit, a spirit that was evident over the waters of the abyss at creation and became the very life-breath of humankind. A powerful spirit that transforms us from timidity and apathy to confidence and courage. A spirit that challenges yet comforts and consoles. A spirit that can lead to all truth. For all who seek to "connect with their source," God has made that task easy by living in the Spirit!
From time-to-time we are privileged to know persons whose lives are animated by the Spirit of God. One such person for me celebrates today the 50th Anniversary of his Ordination to the Priesthood. I have written of Jim Barrett here before. It is almost unfathomable how many lives have been touched by Jim in 50 years of ministry. For every person he is aware of having touched there will be several that will remain unknown to him, but touched and touched deeply nonetheless. And that is the way of God's Spirit.
Jim, I was privileged to have begun my own priestly ministry as an intern standing at your side. Our two years together have left me with a lifetime of memories. I cherish your friendship. Congratulations and Godspeed!
© Copyright 2006 gentlefootprint. All Rights Reserved.
From time-to-time we are privileged to know persons whose lives are animated by the Spirit of God. One such person for me celebrates today the 50th Anniversary of his Ordination to the Priesthood. I have written of Jim Barrett here before. It is almost unfathomable how many lives have been touched by Jim in 50 years of ministry. For every person he is aware of having touched there will be several that will remain unknown to him, but touched and touched deeply nonetheless. And that is the way of God's Spirit.
Jim, I was privileged to have begun my own priestly ministry as an intern standing at your side. Our two years together have left me with a lifetime of memories. I cherish your friendship. Congratulations and Godspeed!
© Copyright 2006 gentlefootprint. All Rights Reserved.
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