Suicide

I dread being woke up in the middle of the night by the disheveling ring of the phone.

Several months following Jennifer's death but before the winter was ready to relinquish the season to spring I received one of those ominous calls. A parishioner was calling to ask if I could visit. The state police had just informed them that their 17 year old son committed suicide. His wife was understandably distraught and he also hoped I would talk to their 14 year old son. Shortly before 2:00 am, I had dressed and hit the road.

One of the difficulties of serving a large inner city church of 2,000 families was that you never get to know a significant percentage of your parishioners. If they attended Church at all, they would either slip out early to avoid the traffic or disappeared out a side door without your ever seeing them. I had no recollection of the family I was asked to visit.

When I arrived, the state police and sheriff's department were still there conducting their investigation searching for clues that might explain what had happened. I sat down with Chuck and Betty and their 14 year old son Chris. They related what police had told them, questioned why such a thing could have happened and shared memories of the son and brother who would not be coming home. And I listened. Together we cried, embraced and prayed that God would offer some sense of peace and understanding.

Lance was a quiet kid but they were not aware of his ever being in any kind of trouble. He seemed to get along with his peers and had lots of friends at school. He was looking forward to graduating from high school and going to college in the fall. For some unknown reason he had taken his car and driven to the other side of the state where police attempted to execute a stop for a traffic violation. He fled and a high speed chase ensued. Lance pulled off onto a gravel road in the country where he stopped running, lifted a handgun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

What would you say to this family? What would you say to his friends from school? Where is God to be found in such a turn of events?

I encourage you to comment with your thoughts. Look for the conclusion to this post tomorrow. I will share how I approached this difficult moment to comfort this family and grieving friends at school.

May peace be with you and yours...

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