Longing

I wonder what kind of objections (if any) would be raised if I were to claim that one of, if not the, most important goals in life is to find fulfillment... Fufillment of heart, spirit and soul. Fulfillment implies reaching my destination, achieving my goals. It indicates the end of the quest and the cessation of all longing and hunger. It seems that fulfillment is the harvest of the spiritual quest. But is fulfillment even possible? Does fulfillment exist?

Looking back at my childhood, whenever a birthday or Christmas neared, there was always one gift that I wanted more than any other. Something I just had to have. The toy that would complete my life. I was fortunate (or spoiled) to get that one gift most of the time. But something curious happened. "It" didn't turn out to be "all that." Not long after gaining that which I wanted most I found it no longer captured my interest or fascination. The one thing that was to have completed my life merely gave rise to the next longing.

This irony continued to play out as my life unfolded. When I graduated from high school and left the family nest to claim the world and greet my new life under the power of my own wings, I thought I was sure I had arrived. Fulfillment. But the initial taste of freedom and autonomy only gave rise to further longings. I set out to find success... a good job, a position of prominence, sufficient wealth to live a comfortable life.

But this didn't lead to fulfillment either. I discovered that, even if I were to acquire every possession I ever wanted, if I had no one to share it with I had nothing. And so my quest for fulfillment led me to look for a soul mate with whom I could build my own nest and raise a family. But fulfillment remained elusive and so I set out to show the world that it couldn't realize its full potential without me.

Is fulfillment possible? Certainly if fulfillment were real, it would be something GOD experiences. But does He? I can't imagine a Divine Creator or a Divine Author pausing to take a look at nature, the world and all that inhabits it, or even (or especially) humanity and feeling "fulfilled." There is no way the created reflects what GOD intended it to be. However disappointed, frustrated or yes, even angry, GOD hasn't given up on us yet. Thus not even GOD knows fulfillment. Instead He is driven by longing.

Longing is what keeps life unfolding in the direction of something that will remain beyond our reach - fulfillment. Longing gives birth to hope and dreams. Longing is what motivates us. Longing, not fulfillment, is the most important goal for without it we would cease to be.

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