After Thoughts

After a very busy past couple of days, tonight I welcome the quiet. I am sure my own experience is quite different from that of my deceased sister-in-law's husband and their 14 year old son. It is hard to witness such personal grief and not, at least for a passing moment, picture youself touched by the same misfortune; me lying in that casket, or my wife, or my child.
If death itself were not enough, it is tragic to see the in-fighting among family members trying to advance theirselves as the definitive voice of the deceased's wishes. Perhaps my sister-in-law anticipated the difficulties when she chose prior to her death to prearrange her own funeral. I spoke with the owner of the funeral home. He indicated that many recognize and talk about the importance of prearrangement following the death of a loved one, but 90% will never follow through.

My mother-in-law, already burdened beyond measure by the death of her daughter (Afterall, age doesn't really matter, does it? It seems nature is disordered in some way when a parent must bury a child.), was further anguished by her belief that Teresa experienced, as she put it, "a horrible death." I tried with the last post to reframe what she saw in the hope she could remember what took place with a degree of peace from a more comforting perspective.

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