On How to Die

A while back I wrote about my sister-in-law's bout with cancer. She has bravely battled Stage 4 cancer for 14 months now. Having gathered at her house with family for Thanksgiving, I was struck by the toll her cancer has taken. Even though doctors told her recently that they could no longer justify treatment, she voices a confidence and resolve that her fight is not over yet. Today after visiting the funeral home to discusss funeral arrangements, she was off to the Cancer Treatment Center in Illinois for a second opinion and support for her renewed will to defeat the disease.

When someone is so immersed in the fight to live, it seems awkward to consider how one might choose to die. My sister-in-law is somewhat secretive about her fight, I suspect to spare family from the overwhelming pain and the despair of being up against such an ominous foe. The family is apprehensive to dig too deeply for fear of hampering her spirits. And so both remain silent, afraid to speak openly. In my years of ministry I saw this same tension play out between the family and the one facing the life-threatening illness.

One of the things I become mindful of when I watch Survivor on Thursday nights is how comforting, reassuring it is to venture out in the jungle with someone leading the way. It is less scarey for those who follow the leader because you know something of what you are encountering and can prepare yourself for it.

Dying, like anything unknown, is scary. I would hope when I face my own death that I can be for my family and friends that person leading the way for those who will inevitably follow in my footsteps. My dying would take on meaning if I could in some way make the experience a little less scary for them by being open to sharing what I am experiencing... Like the one on Survivor leading the tribe into the jungle and confronting all the things that scare and intimidate for us.

Like my sister-in-law, I would fight as bravely as she has until such time as acceptance and embracing my death becomes a more valiant course. A couple of summers ago I had the privilege of traveling along Michigan's Great Lakes' shoreline. I am in awe at the sight of water, the different shades of blue and green and teal. I suppose my affinity for the water probably has something to do with the water in which we were formed in our mother's womb. My fascination with the water is perhaps a return to the security and nurture of the womb as I pass from this life to the next season of my existence.

And so I have let it be known that my way of dying would be to sit myself in a chair overlooking the scenic green waters of the Great Lakes. I would stay right there until I breathed my last, taking in the beauty and awesomeness of God in nature. I hope I have that privilege instead of facing my death in a hospital bed.

How would you face your death?

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